How to Deal With Long Distance Relationships
Long-distance relationships can be very difficult, especially if you’re used to being together often, and then suddenly have to be apart for long periods of time. It may not be an ideal situation for you and your partner, but with the proper planning and attitude, long-distance relationships can be just as good as geographically close ones.
Have a discussion with your partner. All relationships — long-distance or not — benefit from open communication. Before committing to be long-distance, you and your partner should have a serious discussion about how the relationship will work.
- What are your hopes and expectations for the relationship? What are your fears?
- How often do you expect to check in with each other? Do you expect to communicate with each other in some way every day?
- How often will you visit each other in person? What’s realistic given your budget and responsibilities (i.e. school/work schedule)?
- Will you see other people while you’re apart, or will you be monogamous? How will you satisfy your physical needs/desires from afar?
Ensure that you both feel secure in your relationship. You can do this by talking about your relationship but also through daily actions. One great way to do this is to keep your partner updated on your everyday life, including the people you interact with.
- Keeping your partner updated on your daily life will help them feel more involved in your world and your daily life. This will help them feel more secure in the important role they play in your life.[1]
- Consider your partner’s feelings when making choices. For example, going out for late-night drinks with a cute member of the opposite sex or an ex when your partner is halfway across the world might make even a secure partner a bit nervous.
Figure out your end game. Chances are that you ultimately hope to be in the same place as your partner. Being clear about your end goals will help keep you and your partner committed to the relationship.
- Discussing the end game of your relationship will also help ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. Maybe you’re hoping to get married in a few years if all goes well.
- If you’re both just enjoying an international fling, that’s okay too. It’s just important that you both know that, otherwise you might have one person pining over the other while the other is happily dating around, which isn’t fair.
