Stop Accepting Crumbs of Attention in Your Relationships
Many people in find themselves trapped in relationships where they receive only crumbs of attention just enough to keep them hopeful, but never enough to build a real connection.
This behaviour is known as breadcrumbing, which involves one partner giving occasional messages, calls or affection without any real commitment. Unfortunately, this pattern can leave the other person emotionally drained and stuck in an unfulfilling situation.
Esther, a woman in her early sixties, endured an emotionally abusive marriage for decades. After her husband left her for a younger woman, she reconnected with John, her university sweetheart.
At first, their relationship seemed like a second chance at love, with passionate messages and rare but exciting visits but, John eventually admitted that he had no plans to leave his wife but still wanted to keep seeing Esther in secret.
With these clear signs that John was unwilling to fully commit, Esther found herself holding on, hoping things would change.
Her story is similar to what many men and women experience being strung along by a partner who offers just enough attention to keep them hopeful but never enough to build something real.
Why Do People Accept Breadcrumbing in Relationships?
The fear of being alone is often the pressure to be in a relationship, especially for women. Because of this, most of them stay in unfulfilling relationships just to avoid the stigma of being single.
The hope for change. Many believe that if they are patient enough, their partner will eventually commit, even when all signs they display shows and suggest otherwise.
With different cultural expectations, women in particular, are often expected to be patient, enduring emotional neglect in the hope that a man will eventually settle down.
Emotional manipulation is another thing partners use with words like You know I love you, but I need time or I just need to sort out my life first to keep someone waiting indefinitely.
Signs You Are Accepting Crumbs of Attention
Your partner is inconsistent with communication, disappearing for days or weeks before resurfacing with sweet words and you think that is okk?
They never make solid plans for the future, always keeping things casual.
You are always the one initiating conversations and making plans.
They don’t introduce you to their close friends or family, keeping the relationship in the shadows.
How to Break Free
- Set clear boundaries if you can. If someone is not giving you the commitment and respect you deserve, walk away. But some persons find this hard to do. Walk away for your self respect.
- Value yourself cause you deserve real love, not someone who only remembers you when they are bored or lonely.
- Recognize when empty promises is being said to you. If they keep saying, Just give me time, but nothing changes, believe their actions, not their words.
- Seek and prioritize healthy relationships, look for a partner who is consistent, emotionally available, and willing to commit fully.
Accepting crumbs of attention can keep you stuck in an emotional cycle of hope and disappointment.
Both in Lagos, Abuja, or any part of Nigeria, many people are unknowingly settling for less than they deserve in love.
The sooner you recognize the signs and take control of your happiness, the closer you get to finding a truly fulfilling relationship. Stop waiting for someone to eventually choose you, choose yourself first