How To Handle a Sexless Relationship 

Men especially cannot handle a sexless relationship as it is assume that a healthy relationship naturally includes regular physical intimacy.

While this may hold true for many couples, the reality is that relationships evolve over time, and circumstances like stress, health issues, or unresolved emotional conflicts can lead to a sexless relationship.

This doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed, but it does require intentional effort to address the underlying issues.

A sexless relationship is typically defined as one where partners engage in little to no sexual activity over an extended period.

As there’s no universal normal when it comes to frequency, what matters most is if both partners feel satisfied and connected in their physical and emotional intimacy.

If you’re finding yourself in a sexless relationship, know that you’re not alone and that there are practical steps you can take to nurture intimacy and rebuild the bond.

7 Signs that your relationship is struggling with intimacy

In a relationship where physical intimacy is lacking, partners may experience a variety of challenges. Some signs that intimacy has become a problem include:

• Avoidance of Physical Affection: Hugs, kisses, or casual touches are rare or nonexistent.
• Emotional Distance: Conversations feel surface-level, and emotional connection is lacking.
• Unresolved Conflicts: Past issues remain unaddressed, creating resentment or barriers.
• Routine Overload: The relationship feels more like a partnership of responsibilities than a romantic connection.
• Low Self-Esteem: One or both partners feel unattractive or undesirable, leading to a cycle of avoidance.
• Different Sex Drives: One partner desires intimacy, but the other shows little to no interest.
• Lack of Effort in Rekindling: Attempts to address the issue are ignored or met with resistance.

Now is a good time to reflect on your own feelings. Are you holding back from discussing your needs? Are you overly critical of your partner or yourself? It’s essential to approach this issue with openness and compassion.

3 things you can do to rekindle intimacy in your relationship

If you suspect your relationship is becoming or has become sexless, it’s important to recognize that this is not an irreversible problem. While the journey may feel overwhelming, meaningful change is possible with effort from both partners.

Here are three steps to help you address the situation and work toward a healthier connection:

• Start by scheduling a time to discuss the lack of intimacy with your partner in a calm, non-judgmental way. Use I statements to express your feelings. Say, I feel disconnected from you, and I miss our intimacy, rather than, You don’t care about our relationship.

Talk about what intimacy means to both of you not just physical intimacy, but also emotional connection. This conversation can help you identify underlying issues and set the foundation for rebuilding trust and closeness.

• Physical intimacy doesn’t start in the bedroom; it begins with small, intentional actions throughout the day. Hold hands, hug, or cuddle on the couch.

These acts of affection can reignite feelings of closeness and gradually lead to more comfort with physical intimacy.

• Spend quality time together doing activities you both enjoy. Sharing positive experiences strengthens your emotional bond, which is often a precursor to physical connection.

If communication feels strained or the issue seems too complex to tackle alone, consider working with a licensed therapist.

A couples’ counselor can help both of you uncover deeper issues, improve communication, and develop strategies to address the lack of intimacy in your relationship.

Reflect and reconnect with yourself

Take time to reflect on your own needs and behaviors. Are you suppressing your desires or avoiding discussions about intimacy because you fear rejection? Are there unresolved feelings of resentment or insecurity that you need to address?

Journaling your thoughts and emotions can provide clarity. Write about what intimacy means to you, how you’ve been feeling about the current situation, and what you hope to change.

Reflect if you’re prioritizing your relationship and if there are personal habits or mindsets that need adjustment.