Couple’s Therapist Reveals the Secrets She Shared with Her Son
World-renowned couples therapist reveals the 4 marriage secrets she shared with her son before his wedding.
Dr. Sue Johnson, a world-renowned couples therapist, shared the four marriage secrets she imparted to her son before his wedding.
Dr. Johnson, known for her pioneering work in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), has helped countless couples build stronger, more resilient relationships.
Her advice to her son encapsulates the wisdom she has gained over decades of research and practice.
The Couple’s Therapist revealed 4 Marriage Secrets include:
Commitment Matters
The first secret Dr. Johnson shared with her son is the importance of commitment. “Commitment matters,” she emphasized.
In her extensive research, Dr. Johnson has found that a strong commitment creates a sense of safety and security in a relationship.
She explained that when partners are explicitly committed to each other, it significantly reduces their brain’s alarm response to threats.
This “Safer World” effect, as she calls it, is crucial for a stable and loving marriage.
The Science Behind Love
Dr. Johnson’s second piece of advice revolves around the science of love. She highlighted the work of Dr. Helen Fisher, who discovered that romantic love activates a primitive brain reward system.
This system drives people toward the person they are in love with, making love a natural addiction. Dr. Johnson advised her son to understand that love is not just an emotion but a powerful, biologically driven force.
Love is an Open Book
The third secret Dr. Johnson shared is that love is an open book. She explained that the structure of love and how it works is now well understood.
Research from the University of Maryland supports the idea that closeness with a loved one calms our nervous system and increases our confidence.
This only happens when we feel that we matter to our partners and that they will be there for us no matter what. Dr. Johnson encouraged her son to always make his partner feel valued and secure.
Love is a Dance
The final secret Dr. Johnson imparted is that love is a dance. She described the path to love as clear but not easy, with many twists and turns.
A study on emotionally focused couple therapy published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology demonstrates that a secure emotional bond leads to emotional balance, better health, resilience to stress, and a more positive sense of self.
Dr. Johnson advised her son to understand the importance of this dance and to navigate it with intention and care.
